there is this pain
in my heart
a void
without you
i wish i had more time
I wish i could have been better
you were in my arms only moments ago
and now you are with my dad
you will be happy there
but i will miss you forever
why do my loves always leave me
always the ones that get me
you were me in cat form
forever alone
forever sad
Forever love; Digame
words can't express the explosions and waves of feeling riveting through my body
i want to scream. I want to cry so loud and scream. come back to me. STOP LEAVING ME. my baby boy. such a little bastard. gawd I love you so much.
I just lost my 3 year old son.
so much I want to write. Whos going to hang out while I shower and follow my every step around my tiny apartment? Whos going to sleep at the end of my bed all curled up with his eyes covered? Who is going to meet me at the top of the stairs every time I walk through the door? Who is going to attack my feet and arms while I sleep? Whos going to manipulate me with his cry? Who is going to sit and stare at the door every time he wants outside... and peak through the window when he wants in? Whos going to put cat fur all over my dark clothes and in my food and in my mouth and in my eye and everywhere I thought I didn't want it? Whos going to roll around and stretch and be all cute for me when you want something? No more stare downs with the demon squirrel on out balcony. No more play dates with Jack, the cat from down the road. No more shying away from my touch cus You're too good to be pet by me. No more surprise cuddles and neck scratches. No more rolling over when I sing softly to you. No more abnormally loud purring. No more secret sharing. no more bird watching together. no more indy 500 around the apartment. this can go on and on and on. but my heart cant if I do. No more Karma. Is that my Karma?
"let me go womyn, flash in ma eye"
his favorite perching spot cus he always had to be with someone.
"why do you always do this to me?"
"Cus I love you soo much"
trying to cuddle.
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