I am Still

Every lie within me is one beautifully kept secret
Like a ribbon tied tightly around my ring finger
I remember not to slip
To slip into an abyss of this dangerously unforgiving world
I falter but I show no signs
My seams tied tightly on the surface
Took years of building these fragmented pieces to portray this
the fear of the rage and the anger has subsided
almost only a figment of my imagination
until it sneaks up that dark pathway to my heart
cuts the cord and trips me in the nerves
but that is okay because
I have learned and I am still learning
I know that when it hurts that I can cry because
I have cried and I am still crying
and when someone so near to me is lost momentarily in time and held in distance
I know that
I have grieved and I am still grieving
In my past when i felt that I
I had died on the inside
that was only because
I have died and I am still dying..
But I also know that when I smile on the outside and I feel it in my heart so intensely that it brings tears to my eyes..
I know that I have lived and I am still living.